the inspiraetion

First off lets get one thing straight. Being friend-zoned is simply a term that was made up because two people who were friends, one decided to build up the courage to ask the other out, and got heartbroken. End of story.

Not really- after this whole debacle comes a series of non-stop questioning, awkward hangouts, and one of the two trying to win the other over. Lets just skip to reality.

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Don’t hate me because I’m not sexually attracted to you.  Yes we do like the same music, watch the same shows, love the same actors, eat the same foods, and you are incredibly nice… but no that’s not an invitation for you to take me out and “woe” me and is definitely not an open door for us to fall “endlessly in love forever & always”. Is that too harsh?

Men always wonder why women never go for the “nice” guy. But nice can only get you so far and by far I mean maybe a shared meal or two. Yes nice dinners, gifts, and compliments are all things women love- however it is not the only key that will get you involved in a successful and meaningful relationship.

Now some may say that women only go for the “bad-ass” type of guys which is definitely not true. Personally, I believe that it is more than your physical features and attractiveness that will land you a spot in someones bed…lets get real. There’s a lot more involved than having a few things in common to let one know that “hey, that’s a good one!”

So when you feel like your’re on a friend zoned streak… don’t try to hype it up with a title. Just accept the fact that “it’s not that he/she does not want to ‘ruin’ the friendship’ they just don’t find you sexually attracted” Which honestly is completely fine. After all, no one should feel ashamed for being open and honest right?

Plain & Simple.

xxRae

It’s 10pm on a Friday night.

You’re 6 drinks in.

Feeling good.

You see someone of the opposite sex.

They’re attractive.

The next thing you know, you’re leaving their room, readjusting your clothes and getting ready to continue your night.

It’s now 3am and you have a couple of more drinks into your system.

You’re about to go home but you get a text from that someone saying, “What are you doing….let’s chill”

You go over- but the next time you wake up it’s 8am.

Once again, you re-adjust your clothes and head out to make your walk of shame back to your apartment before your roommate wakes up.

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It’s inevitable that the above scenario has happened way too many times for some of us. But how sloppy is really too sloppy? And is it a mere fact of having fun and being drunk or does it go a little deeper? Can it be considered an issue of respect or an act of being immature? Or maybe people do not even think twice about what it is. After all it is college right?

I interviewed both guys and girls on the topic asking the same 4 questions.

1. Have you ever hooked up with more than one person in the same night? If so, do you consider that sloppy or more of a”yolo moment” Why?

“Yes I have, and it was a combo of both-mostly sloppy though”. -20 Female

“Yes. I don’t consider it either. I consider it doing what I want to make myself happy”.- 24 Male

2014. Or as I like to call it the technology based world. It is very unlikely to actually find people these days having a conversation face to face and actually looking at each other ( and enjoying it of course). Nowadays people are constantly buried in their phones seeing which tweets they want to re-tweet or how many likes on Instagram they can get… of their dog. Don’t worry, I’m guilty too.

Yet, a new phenomenon that has become ever so popular are apps such as, “Lulu”, “Tinder”, “Hot or Not”, “OkCupid”….you get the gist. These dating apps have become  so popular over the last couple of months that it has made our society to even more addicted to our little devices. Generally, people use these apps either to stalk their ex boyfriends, creep/make fun of all the people who are actually on it, look at people cause they are bored or to actually find love. Personally, I have never tried any of these dating apps and probably never will- but hey, you never know.

Lets see what some people had to say about these popular dating apps!

I think its safe to say that one of the biggest obstacles that comes to face is the topic of texting. And no I don’t just mean texting your best friend about the sale thats going on in Bloomingdales this upcoming weekend or texting your mom what you want for dinner. I mean the sacred art of texting between the opposite sex. But is it really an act of art or do we just presume it to be?

Normally my posts are focused mainly on the female perspective and how us women think we are always right and never make a mistake. However, sometimes the male perspective does shed some light and even in some cases bring up a good point.

For this post I interviewed 3 girls and 3 guys asking the same 8 questions but resulted only 3 identical answers amongst the female and male population. So safe to say girls, guys are on the same page as us for the most part.

Let’s take a look.

1. How long should one wait after receiving a phone number the night before to text?  To my surprise all 6 said the next day but more towards the afternoon. However one thing that was interesting is the girls expressed if the guy takes 2 days after the initial phone number exchange to text- it’s not worth it. So guys, make your moves fast but not too fast.
2. Should the guy or girl initiate conversation? (…and yes this goes for every time).  To no surprise the girls expressed that the guys should always text first no matter what. Some may even consider it the 21st century form of chivalry. Yet, in defense for the guys- texting shouldn’t be a game of tag. You should text the person whenever you feel like it. Plain and simple.
3. Double Texting- appropriate? A word advice- just don’t double text.
4. Good Morning and Good Night texts- creepy or necessary?  To our beauty sleepers who love to sleep the good morning text may not be the best route to go. After all what’s more important your sleep or having your guy/girl say good morning? ( I think you can decide for yourself) As for good night texts- who doesn’t like a sweet dreams text every once in a while- but be careful not to abuse it!
5. (S)exting- One of the funniest, awkward, and sometimes most pleasurable things to ever come to play in the virtual world today. Save the sexting for your relationships unless you want your P and D all over the internet!
6. K.- Although there aren’t many “universal rules” for texting, there are always exceptions. The single “K” and/or use of a period has deemed to be considered the ultimate boner killer in our wonderful texting world. So ladies and gents use caution with the single K- it has more power than you think!
7. Emoticons: creepy vs. flirty?– To have a conversation just consisting of emojis- skill or creepy? To the male population it seems that they are in love with emojis and think that it adds that extra flirtatious flare to the conversation. From the female perspective- they’re fine but if you overuse them than tata!
8. Texts post midnight- “If a guy sends you a text after midnight it’s not because he wants to cuddle you”

Texting rules are a funny thing when you are dealing with the opposite sex. Girls over analyze it and guys don’t think twice about it. But hey, isn’t that like everything between the female and male population? Let’s agree to disagree.

xxRae

Remember that game of telephone when one person would say something and then they would repeat that same thing to the next person as best as they could and at the end the person would say something completely different than what was originally said? Yea…well we all know that happens in real life. Unfortunately, being girls we automatically assume and jump to conclusions because we are made up to be like that. We over think, over analyze, and sometimes make up things in our heads to ultimately drive us insane. But why?  Honestly, I couldn’t tell you the reason. Throughout my high school and college years, one important thing I’ve learned is everyday is a game of telephone and people will tell you things that are facts and lies. The question is what do you believe? A friend of mine once said, “life’s like a game of telephone, people will talk and talk until their is nothing to talk about whether its lies or the truth”

So why is it that us girls never seem to believe whats right in front of us? Is it because we are tainted from our past? Or is it because we secretly fear the truth? Either way, the male species still categorize us as psychos- but they say it like it’s a bad thing.

xxRae