Lifestyle

Why girls who know what they want, don’t actually always get it.

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I asked a friend of mine, who also happens to be a single man, what attributes he finds sexy about a potential lady love. Three things he mentioned were intelligence, passion, and a good sense of humor. He also suggested that physical beauty doesn’t hurt either, but it’s a bonus feature. As we spoke more, his three characteristics puzzled me…not because they are crazy or outlandish, but because intelligence and passion can also be huge deterrents. I have found that those two traits in theory are good and well, but when a guy actually comes upon a bright, driven, and determined woman they are often viewed as purely goal-oriented and somehow unfit to have a successful relationship with. Why? Are you scared of a woman who knows her strengths and weaknesses, her dreams and fears, and is unapologetic herself about it all? If you’re reading this nodding, oh yes, that’s me. Join the club, men do that all the time. And to them I say, buh-bye. You know what’s incredibly sexy in a man? Being able to admit that your girl is fierce and successful and takes hold of amazing opportunities (and holds you captive with her loving heart all the while). Take notes boys, a man knows when his woman is a boss in the best way, don’t let her get away.

 

-Breezy

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Lifestyle

The New “Corporate America”…but not really.

Like most of us who have just entered the work world, one of the most difficult things we come face to face with is what to wear to work. What does business casual actually mean and if the rest of the office dresses casually are you allowed to as well? Luckily, I have gathered a formula of what you should wear to work from the first day to the last and how to get a feel of the work environment you are in without losing your own personal style.

From interning in the media world, I have had the fortunate experience of being able to dress more casual than the rest of corporate America. However, I feel that this sense of fashion style is becoming more and more prominent in the work force. If you aren’t working in a uptight firm don’t be afraid to try out new trends or take fashion risks…just don’t be too risky.

A quick way to still dress corporate but have your own personal style sneak in is to mix and match the two items. That way if you do need to attend a meeting you’ll be all set but if you still want to be fashion forward on the street you can get away with that too.

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Generally, the rule of thumb is to scope out the highest ranking person in your department depending on your gender and dress how they dress ( in terms of how formal to be or not to be). Based off that, look around and even ask your co-workers what the deal is. There’s no harm in asking- it’s better to do so instead of showing up overdressed or underdressed. After you have established the dress code of your office, play around with what items you have in your closet and what you can mix and match. One of the beauties of fashion is there technically is no “rule” of what you can pair together and what you can’t. It pretty much comes from your own style, how you want to look, how you want others to view you and what makes you feel the most comfortable.

xxRae

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Relationships

Letting go is the easy part…

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Letting go is one of the most bittersweet actions known to human kind. It can be a beautiful thing but can also be a very dark and unwanted thing. People let go of things, relationships and emotions for a variety of reasons whether they are forced to or not. The real test of it all is what do you do after? How do you handle yourself? Do you fall off the face of the earth into a depression pitying yourself or do you look at the brighter side of things, the things outside of the immediate box? I think our 20’s is the time to figure this all out. To take risks, make mistakes, and do things out of your comfort zone.

A trusted source once said “Letting go is the easy part, it’s the moving on that’s painful”.  (Yes, that’s from Greys). Personally, I agree…to some degree though. I have no problem letting go and suppressing my feelings or emotions towards someone or something. But it’s the after that is challenging. Things happen for a reason and people come into your life and leave your life for a reason. It’s up to you whether to daunt on it or embrace it.

Once again this brings us back to the familiar phrase of “letting go”. Because the faster you let go of something the quicker something else is able to enter which in turn is then another opportunity for happiness to arise.

xxRae

 

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Lifestyle

When is enough, enough?

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There comes a time in a person’s life when casual, one night stand hook ups are just not okay anymore. How texting, teasing, making out, sexting, any other forms of “-ing” is old news and it’s time to actually settle down and find a life partner. Well, not too be that dramatic and daunting- but I think I’ve come to realize that, that point in life is now. Some people may disagree and say that your 20’s are your time to figure out what you want to do, what kind of people you like, what kind of people you don’t like, who you see yourself with and what kind of person you want to be. Frankly, I don’t even know the answers to half of those questions and probably won’t know for another couple of years. To be honest, I had a life plan where I knew what age I wanted to be engaged at, when I wanted to be married, and when I wanted to have kids. This plan clearly failed when I realized I’m 3 years from that goal and am currently single….but happy.

Why is it that everything needs to be clarified and set. Life isn’t supposed to be a cookie cutter plan. There are supposed to be mistakes and rash decisions…not everything is supposed to workout the way you planned. I think part of the problem with this generation is everyone is wanting instant gratification in everything they do. From getting your computer to work in .2 seconds to expecting the cute boy you talked to at the bar to text you the next day. And when this doesn’t happen we get pissed, but whose fault is that anyway? Ours.

xxRae

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Fashion

Fall in love with the basics

Pumpkin spiced lattes, knitted legwarmers, over-sized sweaters, and combat boots can only mean one thing…Fall is upon us. Fall is my favorite season mainly because of how versatile I can be with my fashion. Whether I feel like throwing on ripped jeans, a boyfriend tee, and converse or if I want to wear leggings, an over-sized cable knit sweater, headband, and over the knee boots I’ll be perfectly comfortable.

I think the key to a successful wardrobe for any season is to have those basic items that you can wear in all 4 seasons. The tricky part is how do you make an item not just be “summery” or wintery”…and that my friends is layering and to think before buying.

Check out a few of my favorite key items that are must-haves this fall!

1. Colored Skinny Jeans

Colored Skinny Jeans- wine, army green, mustrad, burgundy, grey

2. Army/Camo Pants

  • Okay you may be thinking…what the hell we aren’t Regina George from mean girls but just trust me on this. Army/Camo pants are making a come back and can look super cute if you pair it with the right items…(plain slouchy white tee, leather jacket, combat boots)

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3. Red Blazer/Cheetah Shirt

  • This can be worn together as shown in the picture or separately. I love bold colored blazers mostly because they make you stand out in a room and can dress-up ANY outfit. Plus this is a cute outfit that’s suitable for work—>happy hour.

4d833d73e0a8a142a3601d0189d3c6454. Boyfriend Jeans

  • Yes the thought of your actual bf jeans is cute but trust me it won’t actually look cute on. I’ve fell in love with this look recently and believe you can honestly dress it up or or down. Add pumps and a blazer, chunky necklace and you’re good to go for work or a plain white tee and toms for a casual outing.
  • P.S order a size smaller than you usually are.

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xxRae

 

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Relationships

Why are you being so nice?

 

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I believe that one of the hardest things in our generation today is accepting and realizing our own self worth. Yes ladies, we should have men take us out on dates before getting into bed with them. But why does this happen to be either one of the last things we do rather than the first? Why is it we shut down guys who are simply such gentlemen and our reason is because they are “too nice”. We’ve grown up in a generation where holding the door, buying you your favorite coffee, and sending you flowers just cause is way too nice. Why do we think it is such a huge deal when a guy asks to take us out to dinner. And why are we more comfortable with publicly making out with them at a local bar first?

I think some of our fears may be because we do not want anything serious and in our lifestyles now going out to dinner or on a date is like signing a marriage contract. Yes I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s true! So ladies, lets bring down our guard and let the men do what they’re supposed to do and ‘woe’ us. Maybe it’ll be a great time, maybe it’ll it suck but hey at least you get a free meal out of it. Just kidding!

xxRae

 

 

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Relationships

This will be your life….f-o-r-e-v-e-r

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And…Congratulations to the Class of 2014!

Graduation has ended and I find myself saying goodbye to some of the greatest friendships that have ever been created. It’s weird to think that there is no more school ever, no more year long sleepovers with your best friends, and no more going out on a Monday night just cause. Unfortunately or fortunately for some of us the real world is right around the corner and it’s coming fast- or maybe it’s already here?

Reality settled in fast for me seeing as graduation was on Saturday and the start of my first full time job was on Wednesday. As I got all of my stuff together to board the train to NYC the only thing that I could think about was, “This is going to be my life now. This is going to be my forever”- and it dawned on me, college was over. Of course you’ll still be able to go out and party and see your friends but honestly late nights are now turning into 10:30pm bed times, school emails are now work emails, and your new best friend is the mail or IT guy at your office. Is this really what people are looking forward to after 4 years of undergrad? Is this what everyone is ranting and raving about?

Probably not- but to top it off most of us recent grads have moved back home with our lovely parents (unless you’re lucky enough to afford your own place post grad). Not only do your new roommates require chores but your freedom to enter and please as you wish has been put to a halt, at least in my household anyways. ” This isn’t a hotel, you can’t just go and come as you please”-my infamous mother, which is true and she does have a point but how do you go from heading out at 11pm and coming back at 4am to heading out at 11pm and being scolded the next morning if you come back at 4am- we are 22 year olds after all.

Since my journey as a post-grad has just started, I can’t really tell you how it’s going to be, if it’ll be better or worse than my college years. But, what I can tell you is for all of you undergrads- cherish your college memories, moments, and friendships because before you know it it’ll be over and you’ll be a bitter post grad like myself ranting.

xxRae

 

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Relationships

Want some pancakes?

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Felt up, messed up, and most of all used up.
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You open up your eyes and look around only to find the unfamiliar settings of a bedroom that is certainly not yours. You roll over to find a shaggy haired naked man sleeping with one of his arms around you and then it all comes daunting back to you of what happened or didn’t happen the night before.
Now, don’t get me wrong casual hookups are harmless and can be fun if you learn not to get attached. Let me say this again…do not get attached. And if you are going to get attached do not even engage into the black hole of one night stands, for yourself and your friends sake!
Anyway, to better help you on your journey towards a one night stand, or away from one here are 7 questions I asked a group of college females about their thoughts and views on the “one night stand”.
1. Have you ever had a one night stand? If so was it more than once? If not, would you consider it?
“Yes I have had a one night stand…HOLLA”-Female, 18.
2. What would be your reasons for having a one night stand?
“If I was really drunk and found someone attractive, or just new it was the only opportunity and I was single as a dollar bill“-Female, 18.
3. Do you think that it is trashy or just a “college experience” and why?
“I do find it trashy, I wouldn’t say it’s just another college experience. I was raised in a way that having sex with someone is more than just about pleasure, it’s suppose to have meaning between you and your partner. yes college is meant for mistakes and I’ve made my share of them however I feel that one night stands sober and willingly are extremely trashy. My opinion is that you should have the intentions of pursing the person with the possibilities of having a relationship with them in the future…”– Female.
4. Do you feel that it is more acceptable for girls or guys to do it and why?
“I feel that it is more acceptable for guys to do it because they consider that it is ‘part of their nature’ to go out and have sex with all the girls that they can. If girls do it they are looked as ‘sluts’ when it is a double standard because guys are doing the same exact thing”- Female 19.
5. *Answer only if you’ve had a one night stand*- Did you talk to them after via text or in person? Was it weird?
“The guy texted me the next morning to come for pancakes and I never answered. Now he is in my classes and I just say hi like nothing ever happened”- Female, 19.
6. *Answer only if you’ve had a one night stand*- Would you do it again? Why/Why not?
“I wouldn’t do it again. Personally that’s not who I am. I rather have sex with someone I care about. Also I’m not trying to get my ‘number’ high”-Female 18. 
7. Would you judge anyone that has had a one night stand, why/why not?
“Definitely wouldn’t judge someone who had a one night stand. Its totally someones choice to make that decision and hey, if they don’t see anything wrong with it…then so be it. Their life, not mine.- Female, 19 
“To be completely honest, I would probably judge a girl more about having a one night stand than a guy. At the same time though while I would initially pass judgement on someone for having  a one night stand, everyone is free to make their own choices. So hey, if you wanna have a one night stand, it’s not really my place to judge cause it doesn’t affect me”–

 Female, 19.

So as you can see, from the female perspective, a one night stand was a result of a very messy, drunken, makeup running down our faces, crying most likely, sloppy night that resulted in an unwanted situation. The only good thing that may have come out of it was a good story. But for the record, no boys we don’t want to stay for pancakes or any meal for that matter!

 

xxRae

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Fashion

Wednesday Fashion

Monday Fashion,  I mean Wednesday Fashion!

I’ve been a little delayed…okay a lot delayed but a lot has been going on since I am graduating in less than a month…unreal I know. Anyways the weather has finally been staying consistent, well at least for the most part. However when there is a little bit of awkward temperature going on throughout the day one of my favorite outfits to wear, that is semi-professional/work appropriate are:

  • Dark skinny cropped jeans
  • Booties ( Although some may think that booties are only for fall, if you do pair it with a cropped jean ( or roll up your jeans for the sake of convenience), it’ll give the same effect.  An
  • Light Blazer
  • Flowy Top

* Also topping it off with an office bathroom mirror pics always makes the outfit! Enjoy!

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xxRae

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Relationships

“Friends”

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Let’s face it, love/romance is one of the rarest things that you will find on a college campus. Of course there are many exceptions to a rule and you will find those loving couples holding hands while waiting on the coffee line but lets get real— College is the ultimate scene for random hookups and people of the opposite sex mingling with each other hoping to find something more. Which eventually leads to friends…with benefits, which eventually leads someone in a predicament ( and yes it is usually the girl)

Why is it that us girls always hope for something more and always believe that there is something more. We have grown up all our lives with the picture perfect fantasy that a man will sweep us up by our feet, bring us flowers, and cherish us like the ultimate princess there is- (Disney is to blame).

Reality Check: The movie scenes never happen and are almost never true…sadly.

In the male’s perspective: Is it wrong that maybe two people just want to sleep with each other and exchange a couple of texts here and there? Why does everything have to be so complicated?

One thing to have learned from college is how to have friends with benefits (without getting hurt) but is that even possible?

First thing is first, both men and women initially believe that they do not want a relationship whatsoever. The joy of not having to answer to someone every second of the day or to take someone else’s life into consideration when making a decision may seem like the greatest freedom there is. However, things get a little complicated when you do start becoming “friends” or in some cases just the benefits. Now, there isn’t anything wrong with casually sleeping with the same person and by all means go ahead but do be careful when those occasional times become more frequent and the next thing you know weeks turn into months.

So before you move any further take a step back and see if you can picture yourself going out on dates with this person, introducing them to your friends, and if their personality actually clicks with yours. If not screw the friends part you’re just left with the benefits and at that point you really are just fuck buddies. And if that’s really what you are then there’s no hanging out or getting food or talking about your personal life. You have fallen down the ladder to fuck buddies where you sext for fun, so stick to that.

You’re probably wondering where the “not getting hurt” part of having friends with benefits part is- DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT engage/look/spy or for the love of God do anything with their social media because you will regret it and who really cares? You’re not dating so why waste your time and breath over analyzing and obsessing over who they are tweeting at, their #1 Snapchat friend is, or whose pictures they like. Us girls have given ourselves the ultimate name of  ‘FBI Agents’ but lets channel that energy and motivation towards something more beneficial to us. Once you get past that stage the rest is smooth sailing!

Have fun. That’s really all there is to it. Friends with benefits is supposed to be easy going. Hang out, eat, talk when you want, and have sex when you want, simple.

Be yourself there’s no point in pretending to be someone who you aren’t. 

xxRae

 

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